b) Scream and curl up under your duvet
c) Grin and whip off your dress to reveal a flawless figure in a Melissa Odabash number
Aside from the enviably and unbearably body-confident among us, most would opt for a or b.
Let's face it: bikini's are, excuse my French, bloody terrifying.
Effectively four little triangles to cover your modesty and that is it. Everything else is on display for intense scrutiny and undeniable bitchiness. For once I am left longing for slouchy knitwear and deceptively loose t-shirts. As much as we should love our bodies, it's not unusual to be slightly critical of the skin you're in.
It is no real secret that I am recovering from an eating disorder. Any regular reader could probably pick up on my obsession with food/skinny women/body image, and as I move into my final term of first year, I am aiming, reluctantly, to get up to a size eight. I am told to gain roughly a stone, the prospect of which fills me with dread, but I hope I can do it and HOPEFULLY won't look too repulsive in a bikini on my holidays.
What could help me, though, is someone buying me a Mulberry bikini in a size eight? Purely for motivational purposes, of course.
While these pretty patterned babies won't exactly conceal any flaws or flatter a fuller figure, they are beyond gorgeous. All swirly florals and pastel perfection, they are simple but still pack a punch and are miles away from those horrendous push-up ones available in most stores at the moment.
Prior to a full bikini edit coming soon to SW Fashion, these offer up just a splash of poolside perfection to whet your appetite.
But if your appetite is the problem when it comes to bikini confidence I have a couple of tips for you (try HERE, HERE and HERE)... Thank me from the beach ladies.
And never forget the three golden rules of bikini shopping:
* Wear PLENTY of fake tan to trick the unflattering changing room lights
* Go before lunch- even skinny girls look hideous in a bikini with a bloated belly
* Try and forget that Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Gisele Bundchen ever existed... They are mere freaks of nature.